Hi Guys! This is my blog carnival all about all the different view points of a parent experiencing what it is like to have a child with special needs. Thank you to all of those who wrote about their experiences! Enjoy 🙂
This woman has 6 children, 5 of whom have autism. She talks about how she would fix her kids for anything in the world. She also talks about how proud she is of them. One of the main topics of this blog was that two of her children have “graduated” from the Inclusion programs at their school. They have been in therapies for behavior and speech and they no longer need the attention of the special needs programs at their school. She talks about the amount of pride in her children she has and she also talks about how much she loves all of her kids and hopes that they end up the same way. She doesn’t believe in chelation or other chemical treatments, but she does believe in ABA therapies to help their children become “more normal.”
First off, the title of the blog is very clever. On the autism spectrum, some unspecified disorders are called PDD-NOS (Pervasive Developmental Disorder- Not otherwise specified). I really liked her blog but two stood out to me. In one, she talks about how she was supposed to have twins, but one died in utero. Her other son, Bud, has autism. She talks about how Pal and Bud were twins and during her pregnancy she knew that Pal stuck around to be there for Bud. She knew that he left just when Bud had someone else to lean on, her. “I will never know why Pal couldn’t stay. But I do know that for nine months he stayed with Bud, snuggling around him, bouncing against him, helping him grow. And then, when Bud was ready, Pal left.” She says in her blog post that even though Pal is gone, whenever she listens to Bud’s heartbeat she hears both of theirs beating together. She is grateful that Pal stuck around to help Bud and gave her such a beautiful son, regardless of his developmental challenges.
For this blog post, this mother shows how simple education teaches the environment her child is in to be more accepting. She realized that Autism is not as much an internal problem as it is an external problem. If Bud could be comfortable in his classroom with his classmates, he could flourish in that environment. She spent a lot of time trying to explain to young children how they could better understand and accept Bud as just another kid rather than the kid in their class that was different. She used analogies and simple ways to explain to them that Bud was different but the same. Based on what she included in her blog post, I think she did an incredible job.
This mom talks about the difficulties of having a special needs son. In other blog posts she has written it is very clear that she loves her son, as is the case for all of these parents. I think this post shows some of the understandable frustrations that parents find when it comes to their autistic children. She talks about how parents take finding a babysitter on a Saturday night for granted. She can’t just call up a high school kid and ask him/her to come over and watch the kids for a few hours while she goes out to dinner with her husband. There needs to be a specific list of requirements before hiring a babysitter. She needs to prepare them for what they are about to experience, let alone finding someone willing to put up with it. I can tell from her blog post that she is somewhat angry at the parents who got lucky and got the “normal” kids because they don’t have to worry about half the stuff that she has to worry about. I understand where she’s coming from, but every parent has their own headaches and frustrations and just because their kid is normal doesn’t mean the parents aren’t having a tough time parenting them.
As much as this blogger says that it isn’t fair that parents with typical kids don’t understand what goes on in the life of a parent of a child with autism, she also feels incredible empathy for parents who have children with autism. In this post she talks about a neighbor of hers whose kid has it much worse than hers. Although this blog post is a little scattered, she says that although there isn’t a cure for autism like there is for the measles, there are worse things that could happen to a child and that could affect the parent. She talks about her neighbor who has to be constantly watching her children and making sure they’re breathing because of the diseases they have. “Would she rather they be as they are, or possibly dead?” I think that is a problem that some parents wrestle with. Their lives become so much harder and so much more stressful because of the unfortunate circumstances their children are in. She knows that she would never rather her child be dead, but would she rather her child be normal?
This parent is beyond grateful for the child that they have been blessed with. She knew that having a special needs child would entail dealing with a lot of differences. She accepted who her child was, but her expectations were exceeded based on this blog post. She says, “yet here [on the phone with a friend], nearing the age of 12, my daughter is concerned about her friend’s feelings. Not only that, but she has learned how to express that concern.” Parents of autistic children have expectations of their children that are not always positive, but this one was very positive and she got emotional because of the unexpected exceeded expectation. It seems comical to me that a parent with a typical child wouldn’t even notice that their daughter was on the phone with a friend, but this mother got so incredibly emotional just from a simple empathetic question.
This post describes how difficult it is to dress a developmentally disabled child. She says how other parents take for granted the simple maneuver of throwing on a shirt, or letting their kid dress themselves for that matter. She talks about how her child hates getting dressed and it is one of the most difficult tasks of the day, which a parent with a typical child simply wouldn’t understand.
I find it interesting that the littlest things can make a parent happy when their child has special needs. This is a mother who obsesses over PWD (Prader Willi Syndrome). Although it isn’t Autism, based on personal experience I know that parents can do the same thing- obsess over their child’s autism. They try their hardest to find answers to the hardships they are experiencing and they are trying to fix everything. In the midst of all of that, she realizes that something as simple as her child caring about a scar he had never noticed before. She was astonished that something as simple as a Spongebob band-aid could pull her back to reality and see what is truly important in her life other than her child’s disease.
This blog discusses how difficult it is sometimes to be a parent to a child with special needs. She says at one point in the blog, “Banking on humor, I allowed the corner of my mouth to lift slightly as I told my husband I am planning to willfully become an alcoholic. I am not an addictive person, and I know that isn’t funny to many people. But in that moment I was willing to trade how I felt for how the latter might feel because I was overwhelmed and wanted an escape.” Of course, this is taken out of context because she says most of the time she can handle being a parent to a special needs child (she has triplets but two of them are disabled). There are times when these parents just crack and ask, why me? But then there are other times when these parents are incredibly grateful for the kids that they have.
This blog post really has nothing to do with my topic, frankly. These are quotes from different people about the blessings of having a special need individual in your life. Now, of course these quotes can be applied to the typical person but if you think of it with the knowledge that they are meant for someone with special needs or written by someone with special needs, it makes it all that much more special.
So much has been given to me;
I have no time to ponder over
That which has been denied.
~ Helen Keller ~